CD10 of Cycle 10 - Some Good News....

I’m feeling in a bit of a better mood today, and feeling slightly ashamed of being so self-pitying yesterday. Ah well, we all deserve a bit of a whinge now and then!

I actually had some good news today. I had CD3 blood tests done last week, which was to check FSH, TSH, ESR, glucose and full blood count. The week before, I had an ultrasound scan to check my ovaries, womb and “surrounding structures”. I was just going to assume that if I didn’t hear anything then all was okay. But my mind got the better of me, “what if they have written to me and it’s gotten lost in the post...”

 So I made a quick call to the surgery this afternoon. The receptionist could see my blood test results and said they were all “normal” – yay! She said she couldn’t delve into the report from the radiologist but that the Doctor had noted to file it, which she said meant that it was also “fine” – double yay!

Doug Savage

On the one hand it’s good that nothing abnormal has cropped up. But on the other hand it means I am feeling frustrated because if nothing’s wrong, then why aren’t I pregnant?! I know, I know, I just need to be patient. To be fair, the Doctor did say that we should keep trying until after Christmas as we will have been trying for a year by then and he reckoned we would get pregnant by then. He told me to go back to see him in October, just for my reassurance I guess as there is nothing else that can be done as such an early stage. I think he was concerned that I was getting stressed out by the whole TTC journey so just wants to see me next month to make sure I am still sane haha!

Oh yeah, I am still taking the “relaxed” approach this month, however being aware that I am probably going to ovulate in the next 2-3 days means I am getting tempted to do an OPK or check my temperature... Must... Resist......

CD9 of Cycle 10 – Grumpy Bum Day

As the title of the blog post says, I am having a grumpy bum day today. I picked up a cold last week which is not the end of the world but being asthmatic it means I always end up suffering really badly. Cue hacking coughs and wheezy breaths. Yuk. Feeling very sorry for oneself today...

I don’t know if being poorly is having a particularly worse effect on my mood but my PMA has gone right out the window. No PMA to be seen! I’m on month 9/cycle 10 of TTC and have convinced myself that it is never going to happen. Mr.Sian’s children stayed over all weekend so had lots of cuddles from them both but it made me start to wonder if that’s as good as it will ever get for me: getting cuddles from other people’s kids.

There was an episode of One Born Every Minute (the US version) a few weeks ago where a woman was giving her up twins for adoption to a couple that had been trying for a ridiculous amount of time, like 10 years. Understandably it was a very emotional episode and I cried my heart out. The faces of the adoptees have really stuck in my mind, you could really see the pain and emotion, and now I’m thinking, is that going to be me one day?!

I know it’s ridiculous to be thinking like this when 9 months is not a huge amount of time in the grand scheme of things.  My GP has already said to give it a year and that NHS policy is to try for 2 years but it’s very difficult when getting pregnant is ALL you can think about! Anyway it’s my blog so I’ll be self-indulgent if I want to ;-)

CD2 of Cycle 10 - Au Naturel....

Last week I got very excited when I started to experience mild cramps and a pain like an injection prick from the inside. I was convinced that it might be implantation and truly believed that I was going to be able to get a BFP in time for Mr.Sian’s birthday. However yesterday I woke up with absolutely no PMA (positive mental attitude) at all and just knew that the witch was making her way. She got me in the afternoon – no cramps, no grumpiness, nothing to suggest she was coming except for a sense of... foreboding!

It hit me very hard yesterday, I must have cried about 4 times throughout the afternoon and evening. But I found the silver lining by digging into some very yummy pate on crackers and sharing a bottle of cava followed by a bottle of prosecco with Mr.Sian. Bit of a fuzzy head this morning but a can of Red Bull sorted me right out :)

So here I am again, CD2 of Cycle 10. Sigh...

I’ve decided this month to go for it au naturel... I’m not temping this month or using OPKs. It’s Mr.Sian’s birthday and my friend’s wedding this month which means 3 weekends away (2 for the birthday and 1 for the wedding), so I’m just going to kick back and enjoy it.

I know my body so well now that I will probably still have an idea of when I’ll be ovulating, so I’ll still record changes in cervical mucus on fertilityfriend.com. I’ll still take my supplements – starflower oil, vitamin B6, vitamin D and folic acid – but that’s all I am going to do that will be considered as “trying”. Sex will just be for fun! Okay, there will be a little bit of hope in the back of my mind but the point is that I am more than a little bit consumed by this and I just need to chill the F out a bit. 

CD20/21 of cycle 9 – 7/8DPO – What was THAT?!

I’ve not updated for a couple of days, as there hadn’t really been much to tell other than noticing quite a few crampy, twingey sensations in my tummy, somewhere between ovulation pains and witch cramps.

 

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 Yesterday afternoon, however, something interesting happened which made me sit up and think, “what was THAT?!” I was just sitting at my desk at work, merrily typing away at emails – nothing strenuous at all. I’d been having the mild cramps on an off all day, but suddenly I got a sudden, sharp feeling which I can only describe as feeling like the prick of an injection, but from the inside of my tum! It was barely a split second pain, but it was so sharp that I couldn’t have ignored it. At the same time a wave of coolness kind of swept over me, but that may have been my hairs standing up from the pain or something, not really sure. It was weird. It may just been nothing, but with me being 7DPO my mind is screaming “IMPLANTATION!”

Today I’m 8DPO and the tummy cramps seem to have stopped. In its place though I now have a sort of lower back ache. It’s not painful, in fact it’s less of an ache, more a feeling that my back is loose or being poked – once again twinges is proving a useful word to describe what’s going on!

I’m so sure I’ve not experienced any of this any other months, so I really hope these are all good signs that something great is happening in the baby making oven!

CD18 of Cycle 9 – 5DPO – Scan Day

This morning I had the pelvic ultrasound scan which my GP sent me for to put my mind at rest, for the time-being at least!  The scanner person (still not worked out what their proper job title is so apologies if I am offending anyone!) was a guy who was really sweet – he seemed quite sympathetic and told me that he and his wife have been struggling to conceive also.

The scan was really quick – those who are already mummies will know what happens but for those that don’t: I had to drink 1.5 pints of fluid 1.5 hours before the scan as they need you to have a full bladder. This was the worst part for me as usually I need to pee at least every hour, if not every half hour! T-shirt lifted and top jeans button undone, some warm gel was squeezed on my tum and then the chap moved his scanner over my tummy stopping every now and then to click something on his screen, which I’m assuming was recording images. He used quite a firm pressure, but not uncomfortable except for the fact that I was desperate to pee... It took about 5 minutes in total and he said other than needing to work out some finer details everything looks fine structurally. So far, so good. He said that my GP would have a report in about a week’s time.

I actually really liked having the scan done, in a strange way it made me feel like I was a step closer to pregnancy, because it’s something that pregnant ladies have done! I know, I’m losing the plot! 

Other than the scan there is not much for me to report. I’m 5DPO today so a good chunk of the way through the 2WW but not far enough for anything significant to report. My temperature is staying up and I have lots of creamy cervical mucus, more than previous months, so that’s a positive sign. I feel super tired today, like I could fall asleep at my desk right now, but that could just be due to surviving on one cup of coffee a day at the moment, so I’m not reading anything into it just yet. (But secretly hoping it’s a sign!)

Here’s to hoping this week goes quickly!

CD15 of Cycle 9 – The Dreaded 2WW – 2DPO

This month I decided that I was going to be a lot more relaxed and chilled out about TTC. For the whole of the first two weeks of the month I was fine – I wasn’t that bothered by the witch coming, baby-danced for the sheer fun of it up until ovulation then baby-danced partly for fun but mostly with purpose over the fertile days. However, getting that first increased temperature yesterday, and again today, has brought me right back down to earth with a bump – I am now on the dreaded two week wait! Aaargh!

I’m only 2DPO but have managed to convince myself that this is THE MONTH. I’m divided because according to this book I read last year called The Secret if you think positively and visualise what you want and believe that it’s happened, then it will happen. But on the flip side I could be getting my hopes up only to be in for a major disappointment in two weeks time... Until now, I’ve not let myself believe that I might be pregnant and until now I’ve not been pregnant. So perhaps if this time I believe that I AM pregnant, maybe I will be. So that’s going to be my attitude to get me through the 2WW this time round. I’ve got nothing to lose by trying a little positivity! 

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So the 2WW now means I am limiting myself to one weak cup of coffee a day, I’m avoiding alcohol but tomorrow is my Dad’s 50^th (yes, he is a young dad, he was 20 when I was born!) so that throws a bit of a spanner in the works, and also not going to have any of my beloved pate or soft boiled eggs or soft cheese. You never know!

I’ve stopped taking my Starflower Oil for now, but still taking vitamin B6. I have quite short cycles (24-26 days) and since temping I realised that my Luteal Phase is only 10 days which is kind of borderline to being dodgy. I started taking 100mg of vitamin b6 last month and increased my Luteal Phase to 13 days! So hope it does the same this month.

The Luteal Phase is, in very, very simple terms, the time from ovulation to the witch arriving and if you have Luteal Phase Defect (short luteal phase, low progesterone levels, or both) then it could interfere with the bean implanting. So by taking vitamin B6 I’m trying to increase my luteal phase and give a potential bean more time to snuggle up.

Scan is on Monday, so fingers crossed everything is fine with that, and fingers crossed this is THE MONTH! :)